What is it With Bloody Men

What is it With Bloody Men

Maggie K. McLean-Crowther



Format: 13.5 x 21.5 cm
Number of Pages: 68
ISBN: 978-3-99130-079-3
Release Date: 07.03.2022
Meet M.K. McLean-Crowther; a first time author, who has produced a devastatingly funny true story about the harrowing behaviour of Bobby, her first husband who is just too good to be true and Lucifer the gorgeous bus driver who takes her on an incredible ride!
To the incredible R.A.C who gave me strength,
guidance and love to carry on.

ALSO, to my two beautiful children
I love you all so much.


Part 1

THIS IS ABOUT MY EX-HUSBAND AND WHAT I WENT THROUGH. WE WERE ONLY MARRIED FOR LESS THAN THREE YEARS.
IF THIS PART UPSETS YOU THEN I APOLOGISE.

I JUST NEED PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

SERIOUSLY, I MEAN WHAT IS IT ABOUT BLOODY MEN THAT DRIVES US CRAZY

Whether it be a friend, partner, lover,
husband or even a family member.

They can be so infuriating at times.

One minute they can be all grumpy and moody and the next they act like a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD.

They can also be loving and tender and then it’s like someone flicking a switch and they act as if they are on a period.

I mean talk about mood swings! They talk about women being on periods but oh my God!
Is it that they don’t get enough sex or is it that they get too much of a good thing so they need a bloody good smack?

I mean come on, is it just me or is there a majority of us thinking exactly the same thing. There is no middle ground with men.

When they get in a STROP, they dig their heels into the ground or worse they throw their teddy out of the cot. The worst part is they make us feel as though it’s our fault! I mean grow up already! They act like such dickheads!

It’s us who get the brunt of it and at the end of the day we stand there and take their shit. Why? I have no idea.

It could be because of the way we were brought up. Seriously, if you met my mum you would run for the hills. She is so scary and that’s putting it nicely. I mean even Satan wouldn’t mess with her. I hear you laugh but it’s so true - but that’s another story.

I hope my book gives you some of the answers; as long as you know that it’s not your fault.

The names in this book have been changed for legal reasons.


BOBBY

let me take you back to nineteen ninety nine

I was pregnant and I was getting married to a nice guy named Bobby. He was tall, slim but muscular with nice blue eyes that could melt your heart. He was older than me by a few years but that didn’t bother me.
Before I married Bobby, his whole family told me not to marry him. To be honest, I thought they were a bit weird but even on my wedding day my dad told me not to marry him. However, I didn’t listen; I was getting married and that was that as I was in love with this guy.

After being married for a couple of months, bearing in mind that I was still pregnant, and we both worked, things started to change with Bobby. It was as though someone had flicked a switch because he went from being this lovely guy to this MONSTER.
He told me I was getting fat and it wasn’t because I was pregnant. He told me I was looking old and haggard, that I was wearing old baggy clothes and that I was unattractive; all this in a day.
I thought he was just having a bad day at work so I let it go even though he had upset me, but later he gave me a hug and kiss and apologized.
After a couple of weeks, I decided to give up work as I was due to give birth in a couple of months and I was already feeling tired and drained all the time, plus the doctor told me that my iron level was very low.

That night, I could hear myself screaming when suddenly, I realized that I was being dragged off the bed by my hair and someone was yelling at me, but I couldn’t hear what was being said. I thought that I was having a nightmare until I heard a thud. That thud was me being thrown to the floor. When my eyes got back into focus, I knew it wasn’t a nightmare, it was really happening. The person who threw me off the bed onto the floor was my HUSBAND.
When he stopped yelling, he walked out of our bedroom. I can remember sitting there trying to work out what had just happened. After I stopped crying, panic went into me as I was still pregnant and all I could think about was:

‘HAVE I LOST MY CHILD?’

I got up steadying myself. I went to the bathroom to see if I was bleeding. Thankfully, I wasn’t, so I washed my face and got dressed; as even though there was no blood, I had to be sure that my child was okay, so I decided that I was going to the hospital just to be sure.
You see before Bobby and I got married I was pregnant with a son AJ, but unfortunately, I lost him, and I didn’t want to go through another miscarriage.
So, I was scared that this child I was carrying had died.
I went into the living room to tell Bobby that I was going to the hospital but before I could he stood up and walked towards me. I must admit I did get a bit scared. The next thing I knew he put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head and he apologized.
He whispered in my ear and spoke …

“Katie, I love you and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it. You are special to me, forgive me.”

I smiled and said, “Of course I forgive you.”

After we had been to the hospital, Bobby took us to lunch as everything was okay with our child.
We had a nice lunch, but then when we got home, he turned on me. We had just got into the house, and he threw me against the wall and told me I was nothing but a big fat slut.
I was shocked as I had no idea what I had done to upset him. Bobby went into the living room and started watching television while I was still on the floor trying to work things out.
I don’t know how long I was sitting there because Bobby came into the hallway and helped me up. He asked me what I was doing sitting on the floor.
I looked up at him and no words came out. After he helped me up, he asked if I needed a hand to make tea before he got ready for work. I remembered shaking my head. He kissed me and told me he loved me.
That night before I went to bed and Bobby had gone to work, images came into my head of what he had done to me.
Now I’m going to let you into a secret.

When I was a child, I was sexually mentally and physically abused by my mum and my big sisters’ friends. Also, my mum and sister mentally and physically abused me, but that’s another story I will write. I did tell Bobby what happened when I was younger.

I went to A&E, and they sent me for an ultrasound. I didn’t tell them the real cause of what happened, as I didn’t want to believe that my husband could do this to me.
While I lay on the sofa, I started to cry, asking myself what I had ever done to deserve this. I love Bobby.
I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up it was morning and there was a fresh cup of tea and toast on the coffee table with a note.

The Note:

‘To my beautiful wife, you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you. I hope when you wake up the tea is still warm. I have gone shopping. Love you always
Bobby x’

I thought that was very sweet and it made me smile.
Bobby came home and he seemed in a good mood. He said hi and gave me a kiss. I thanked him for the tea and toast and told him it was very sweet of him. He smiled and told me he was going to run me a bubble bath.

A month had passed, and I felt like a princess. Bobby was being so nice and kind towards me. It was lovely.
It was coming up to my due date and I felt terrible.

I woke up early in the morning with bad pains in my stomach. Bobby had to phone for an ambulance.
At seven in the morning, they told me I was going into labor, but I was in very bad pain. My waters still hadn’t broken. They told me that it was normal as they had seen pregnant women go in and out and others took a couple of days.
It was now about three the next morning and I felt sick.
Bobby went and found a nurse and I told her how I was feeling. She phoned for a doctor and within minutes the doctor was in my room. He felt my stomach and told me not to worry but I had to have an emergency cesarean and they had to break my waters.
They gave me injections to relax me and an epidural. Even though I could feel them cutting me. I was going in and out of consciousness. I was trying to stay awake, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. All I felt was being wheeled somewhere and being told I had a daughter.
When I finally came round, I was in a hospital bed and my beautiful daughter was in her crib next to my bed. I tried sitting up, but I was in too much pain. Also, I had a drip in my hand.
Next to my bed was a chair and Bobby was asleep in it. I tried sitting up again but I cried out “OUCH!” obviously, it is a human reaction, to which Bobby woke up startled. He asked if I was okay. I told him I couldn’t sit up because I was in too much pain. Surprisingly, I didn’t wake up my daughter.
At that point the doctor came into the room with a strange look on his face. I just stared at Bobby and I could feel the tears running down my face. Once I got the only word out which was “WHY?” he asked if I had done anything strenuous or lifted anything heavy or done anything out of the ordinary. I asked him why he was asking me these weird questions? Even Bobby looked strangely at the doctor.

That was until the doctor told us that my daughter had been stressed and so we were back-to-back and because she was stressed, the cord had been wrapped around her neck three times. I looked at Bobby as he looked startled, I didn’t understand why. Then I remembered about the beating he had given me and pushed me into the wall. My blood started to boil but I couldn’t say anything as, despite all that Bobby had done, I loved him, and he loved me. Now we have this precious child, Alexis, to look after.
The doctor looked at us concerned. I quickly told him that I had done the shopping and housework as Bobby was working. I told the doctor I had lifted the hoover. He smiled and took my hand. He told me I shouldn’t worry; Alexis was a beautiful healthy baby. I smiled and thanked him. Before he left, he told me to take it easy as I had stitches in, but I wasn’t to worry as they were dissolvable.
After the doctor left, I looked at Alexis who was sleeping soundly in her crib. I was so blessed with this beautiful dark haired and rosy cheeked healthy baby.
I still had tears in my eyes as I looked at Bobby. He was just sitting there with clenched fists and his jaw was twitching. He looked at me and stood up. He gave me a tender sweet kiss and told me he was sorry for everything and that he would make it up to me.
He had to leave for work so I told him I would see him tomorrow.
That afternoon everyone came to see Alexis. I was so exhausted, so they didn’t stay long.
The following day at about lunchtime my parents came to see me and Alexis. I didn’t tell them what the doctor had told me the day before.
As we were having a cup of tea, Bobby came in with a big, beautiful bouquet of red roses. A nurse came in and went to look for a vase and when she came back. I asked her if she knew when I could go home with Alexis. She didn’t know so she went to ask the doctor. When she came back, she told me the doctor was on his way to see me. I started to panic as I didn’t want him to say anything about what he had told me yesterday, especially in front of my parents.
When the doctor came in, he asked me how I was doing. I told him I was a bit sore; even though I did do some exercises. You see, Alexis never cried and I had to keep checking that my beautiful daughter was still breathing as she didn’t wake up when other babies were crying or even when the room was being cleaned. She was so content in her cot in the hospital.
Truth be told, nobody was impressed, even though the doctor smiled and shook his head. My parents weren’t happy, but what else was there to do in a hospital when your daughter is always asleep. The doctor was concerned about my stitches, even though they were dissolvable. Thankfully I hadn’t burst any.
The doctor did say I could go home in two days which I was relieved to hear as like most of us, I hate hospitals. I couldn’t wait to go home with Alexis and start a family.


Starting a family

Well, today is a new day at home with my beautiful daughter Alexis. I still can’t believe how blessed we are to have such a perfect child.
I must admit my first thought when we got home was that now we are a family. Bobby will help with our daughter and be the best dad our daughter could wish for. Boy, how wrong was I.

After a few weeks everything was great. Bobby helped with the feeding and the housework. The only thing he didn’t do was change nappies as he said that it was wrong for a dad to do nappies, so I thought okay. As he helped with everything else, I wasn’t going to argue. Then he changed. He became moodier and he started hitting me more. He even quit his job. I had no idea what was going on. I even started work again and I found a sitter as Bobby had given up on helping me.

When Alexis was about four months old, I was changing her nappy and Bobby was walking back and forth in the hallway, so, me being me, I said to him, “If you are that bored why don’t you get a job?” Well, that was the worst thing I could have said because suddenly, he came barging into Alexis’s bedroom and shoved me through her cot, while my daughter was lying on the floor on her changing mat. Thankfully, my daughter didn’t know what was happening and she wasn’t hurt. Bobby then left the room and left the house.

That night at about ten o’clock, I was woken up with a loud bang. It was Bobby coming home. He stumbled into the living room and crashed out on the sofa. I put a blanket over him so he wouldn’t get cold. I still loved him.
5 Stars
Sad, funny and inspirational  - 15.05.2022
Melanie

This was without a doubt one of the most compelling books I have read. The author chronicles a devastatingly sad yet inspirational story in a way which held my attention though every page. Her witty and honest way of sharing left me convinced that she will have readers everywhere gripped by her words. An amazingly talented writer that I hope to see more from in the future.

5 Stars
Brilliant! - 26.03.2022
Julie

Loved this book ! So honest , left me wanting to read more . Can’t wait for the next one .

5 Stars
Brilliant! - 26.03.2022
Julie

Loved this book ! So honest , left me wanting to read more . Can’t wait for the next one .

5 Stars
Excellent & inspiring - 20.03.2022
Noctavia

This is so true & I love your honesty funny but its a reality because many women die in silence thinking that things will get better.When me & my ex husband were coming from a night shift one morning & I just said to him I am really tired to cook & he told me that the kitchen is where I belong..Can you imagine!!..I am now at 61 yrs in the middle of our divorce,cant take abuse anymore..Thank you for this book & I am going to buy it & finish reading the rest..

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