Your book is finished and the first feedback is due? With these 10 tips for dealing with criticism as an author, you can face the next feedback meeting with confidence.
‘There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing’, Aristotle knew. And he was right. If we want to avoid criticism, we have to avoid our work, our creations, ourselves. Whoever raises their voice will hear an echo. Anything else would mean being silent. And an author who is silent is not writing. Because only by writing do we give our thoughts a voice.
Knowing all this, we still usually find it difficult to accept criticism. Some authors even fear it. Probably everyone who writes knows the tingling feeling when they hand over their work for the first time. With trembling gestures, sweating fingers and doubting thoughts, you hand your manuscript to the test reader while asking for feedback in a mature and highly professional manner. On the outside, calm integrity prevails. Inside, a tornado rages. There are many reasons for our fear of criticism. Sometimes they are rooted in a childhood in which we received too little recognition. Perhaps we never had the chance to develop sufficient self-confidence or simply give too much weight to the critic’s voice. But whatever the psychological reasons for our numbness in the face of criticism, we need to work through them. After all, those who refuse to accept criticism deprive themselves and their work of the ability to grow. However, like everything else, dealing with criticism can be learnt. This is important, because if you are aiming for bestseller status as an author, you need to be prepared for criticism. It is statistically impossible that your work will impress every reader. You should therefore develop a strategy for dealing with criticism as an author in a more relaxed manner during the creation phase of your work. We at novum publishing have ten practical tips on how you can face your critics in future without giving in to your inner flight instinct.
10 tips for dealing with criticism as an author
Habit
Whether it’s a sports programme or a writing marathon–routine is the key to self-discipline. Those who regularly take on challenges turn tests of courage into habits. The inhibition threshold sinks from time to time. When fear reaches its lowest point, every task loses its terror. Face criticism as often as possible by consciously asking for feedback. Start with small tasks, for example by asking for feedback on an email or your own cake recipe. Consciously choose areas that are not so important to you. Gradually, you can also ask for feedback on the essentials, such as the result of your last writing exercise or a short story. Get used to the echo of readers’ voices and you will be more willing to hand over your book.
Listen
‘What is the person opposite me really saying?’ We often listen to the other person’s core message with a child’s ear. However, our childish ego reacts with offence, defiance and withdrawal. This is not really constructive. In such situations, it is important to recognise the true motive of our critic and to concentrate on the factual level. Many misunderstandings are based on the childish tendency to understand communication content on a relational rather than a factual level. In reality, however, it is usually an issue that is being criticised, not the person themselves. Recognise the benevolent intention behind someone else’s comment and try to react as an adult, not as a child.
Asking questions
Admittedly, the above point proves to be quite tricky and is the supreme discipline even for communication scientists. It is human to misunderstand something from time to time. This is why asking questions can be helpful in critical situations. For example, if your counterpart says: ‘This email is typical for you. We’ve seen this before’, you can interpret this statement to your disadvantage or to your advantage. Instead of racking your brains for days, weeks, months or even years about what might have been meant by this statement, address it directly by saying: ‘What do you mean?’ You’d be surprised how often the response is positive and something like: ‘Well, you write brilliant emails. We don’t need to worry about that.’
Discretion
If you already have a wide readership, this task will certainly be more difficult. However, if you are only at the beginning of your writing career, then, if possible, move the venue to a quiet zone that is free from other people’s ears. It is much easier for us to accept feedback in the privacy of our own home than to be assessed in front of several pairs of eyes and ears. This was already unpleasant in the classroom and is also unpleasant in the workplace.
Control
Trust is good, control is better. If you know that criticism is your weak point, then consciously steer the conversation in a positive direction. Watch your words and consciously formulate sentences in a positive way. For example, instead of asking: ‘Did you like the book?’, try: ‘What did you like best about the book?’. Improve step by step. Next time, you might dare to tackle the slightly trickier question, ‘Where could I improve?’.
Timing
Don’t overextend yourself. If you have just received bad news or your mood is hovering around zero, postpone or avoid criticism situations if you can. Communicate a new date for your feedback meeting and take the time you need.
Gratitude
Criticism is generally a positive thing. It helps you to identify your weak points and constantly improve. Especially with people who are close to us, we can assume the best intentions. Never forget that you and your sparring partner are pursuing an identical goal: To realise your full potential. Practise gratitude and recognise that someone is taking the time to devote themselves to your work and to engage with it.
Time to think
Sometimes distance is a good strategy. If you know that your emotions sometimes lead you astray, then agree on a reflection period with your dialogue partner in advance. Communicate that you will not comment on anything and will initially restrict yourself to listening. Then let the feedback take effect for a few days and check what you can accept. During this time, a second or third opinion may also be useful. If certain points come up again and again, you should perhaps pay attention to them. If you have conflicting opinions, you can trust your own judgement.
Boundaries
Competence is not only needed in the person being criticised, but also in the critic. Unfortunately, not everyone around us is capable of constructive criticism. If you realise that the person you are criticising is only interested in belittling you and asserting themselves, then refuse to accept the criticism. Let your critic speak their mind and thank them for their feedback. However, also make it clear that you see things differently and, if possible, avoid another one-on-one conversation about your work with this person.
Humour
Don’t take yourself too seriously! If you know your weaknesses, you can laugh about them instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Never forget: with humour, self-irony and laughter, you can put up with any flaw.
Don’t be discouraged and let your fingers roam freely over your keyboard!
Your team at novum publishing
Thank you, this is great advice